Identity

I've been thinking a lot about identity and where I get mine lately.  It was neat because I was already thinking about it, and then it came up at church and in Sunday School a few times.  I really struggle with (and this is going to sound silly) people not knowing that I know stuff, that I did well in school.  I think part of this is because I am "only" a stay-at-home mom.  I am not proving my intelligence in anything.  I also think this is because when I was in school, that was my identity.  I pushed myself to do very well, and both of my sisters and I were expected to do well.  When my uncle would come down, he would always tell us how well my cousin was doing in school.  Randa was compared to how well I did the year before.  So intelligence was important.  And then once I started staying home, it really meant nothing.  I still know (most of) the stuff I did then, but it doesn't come into play very often.  I think it bothers me most with men.  I want them to know I graduated __/__.  I got x A's and x B's and no C's. 

So where am I going with this? 

I don't want that for our children.  And it totally would be for Pnut if she were in school.  She is similar in personality to me, especially in her feelings of responsibility, which is partly what drove me.  I want their identity to be in Christ, to know that He gives them their worth.  And I'm not saying that this doesn't happen in public school, but I do think that it can be harder to foster that in the naturally competitive environment of school.  Humans are competitive.  We want to win.  I see this in Candy Land for goodness sake. 

I want them to learn "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."  (Micah 6:8)  Humility doesn't come easily, but being wrapped up in something like good grades makes it even harder, as is evidenced by me still thinking of this 8.5 years after I graduated high school.  But if they are able to find their identity in Christ and that affects their whole outlook from an early age, maybe it will be less of a challenge. 

So how do you struggle with getting your identity right?  There are other places I try to find it, of course, it just has been coming to my mind a lot lately about this. 

I don't feel that I wrapped this up well or even made particular sense!